Just For Chuckles: Patrick Stewart In Extras

In honour of Patrick Stewart's Emmy
nomination for his guest appearance
in Ricky Gervais's show Extras, click
here to watch the hilarious video clip.

[Baffling] Emmy Nominations Announced

The Emmy voters obviously must have been on something to come up with this year's interesting -- to say the least --nominations...

Just where are the nominations for today's TV's most talented
actors and actresses like; Kristen Bell, Jason Bateman, Lauren Graham and the entire cast of Scrubs?
And the nominations for today's groundbreaking quality shows
Veronica Mars, Weeds, Huff, Big Love and Lost?

Instead of focusing on the current, the Emmy voters seem to have set their sights in the past. I mean, have they even watched television in the past few years at all?
That would certainly explain these baffling nominee choices, like Martin Sheen, Alan Alda and Stockard Channing, to name a few -- not to say these actors aren't extremely talented, they were just the wrong choice.

But nothing -- nothing I say -- is going to explain the noms for the likes of Kevin James, Charlie Sheen and all of the Two And A Half Men noms in general.

All I can say is thank god for the Golden Globes!

FORTUNATELY THERE WERE AT LEAST A FEW EXCELLENT NOMS:
Oliver Platt -- Huff (for supporting actor in a drama series)
Blythe Danner -- Huff (for supporting actress for a drama series)
Will Arnett -- Arrested Development (for supporting actor in a comedy series)
Lisa Kudrow -- The Comeback (for lead actress in a comedy series)
Elizabeth Perkins -- Weeds (for supporting actress in a comedy series)
Swoosie Kurtz -- Huff (for guest actress in a drama series)
Cheryl Hines -- Curb Your Enthusiasm (for supporting actress in a comedy series)
Scrubs (for outstanding comedy series)

THE NOMINEE LIST FOR THE MAIN CATEGORIES:

DRAMA SERIES:
GREY'S ANATOMY
HOUSE
THE SOPRANOS
24
THE WEST WING
[Our pick: HOUSE]

COMEDY SERIES:
ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
THE OFFICE
SCRUBS
TWO AND A HALF MEN
[Our pick: ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT]

LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES:
CHRISTOPHER MELONI -- Law & Order: SVU
DENIS LEARY -- Rescue Me
PETER KRAUSE -- Six Feet Under
KIEFER SUTHERLAND -- 24
MARTIN SHEEN -- The West Wing
[Our pick: KIEFER SUTHERLAND -- 24]

LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES:
KYRA SEDGWICK -- The Closer
GEENA DAVIS -- A Commander In Chief
MARISKA HARGITAY -- Law & Order: SVU
FRANCES CONROY -- Six Feet Under
ALLISON JANNEY -- The West Wing
[Our pick: ALLISON JANNEY --The West Wing]

LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES:
LARRY DAVID -- Curb Your Enthusiasm
KEVIN JAMES -- King Of Queens
TONY SHALHOUB -- Monk
STEVE CARELL -- The Office
CHARLIE SHEEN -- Two And A Half Men
[Our pick: TONY SHALHOUB -- Monk]

LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES:
LISA KUDROW -- The Comeback
JANE KACZMAREK -- Malcolm In The Middle
JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS -- The New Adventures Of Old Christine
STOCKARD CHANNING -- Out Of Practice
DEBRA MESSING -- Will And Grace
[Our pick: LISA KUDROW -- The Comeback]

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES:
WILLIAM SHATNER -- Boston Legal
OLIVER PLATT -- Huff
MICHAEL IMPERIOLI -- The Sopranos
GREGORY ITZIN -- 24
ALAN ALDA -- The West Wing
[Our pick: OLIVER PLATT -- Huff]

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES:
CANDICE BERGEN -- Boston Legal
SANDRA OH -- Grey's Anatomy
CHANDRA WILSON -- Grey's Anatomy
BLYTHE DANNER -- Huff
JEAN SMART -- 24
[Our pick: BLYTHE DANNER -- Huff]

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES:
WILL ARNETT -- Arrested Development
JEREMY PIVEN -- Entourage
BRYAN CRANSTON -- Malcolm In The Middle
JON CRYER -- Two And A Half Men
SEAN HAYES -- Will And Grace
[Our pick: WILL ARNETT -- Arrested Development]

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES:
CHERYL HINES -- Curb Your Enthusiasm
ALFRE WOODARD -- Desperate Houseviwes
JAIME PRESSLY -- My Name Is Earl
ELIZABETH PERKINS -- Weeds
MEGAN MULLALLY -- Will And Grace
[Our pick: ELIZABETH PERKINS -- Weeds]

GUEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES:
MICHAEL J.FOX -- Boston Legal
CHRISTIAN CLEMENSON -- Boston Legal
JAMES WOODS -- ER
KYLE CHANDLER -- Grey's Anatomy
HENRY IAN CUSICK -- Lost
[Our pick: HENRY IAN CUSICK -- Lost]

GUEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES:
KATE BURTON -- Grey's Anatomy
CHRISTINA RICCI -- Grey's Anatomy
SWOOSIE KURTZ -- Huff
PATRICIA CLARKSON -- Six Feet Under
JOANNA CASSIDY -- Six Feet Under
[Our pick: SWOOSIE KURTZ --Huff]

GUEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES:
PATRICK STEWART -- Extras
BEN STILLER -- Extras
MARTIN SHEEN -- Two And A Half Men
ALEC BALDWIN -- Will And Grace
LESLIE JORDAN -- Will And Grace
[Our pick: PATRICK STEWART -- Extras]

GUEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES:
SHIRLEY KNIGHT -- Desperate Houseviwes
KATE WINSLET -- Extras
CLORIS CLEACHMAN -- Malcolm In The Middle
LAURIE METCALF -- Monk
BLYTHE DANNER -- Will And Grace
[Our pick: KATE WINSLET -- Extras]

WRITING FOR A DRAMA SERIES:
SHONDA RHIMES -- Grey's Anatomy
KRISTA VERNOFF -- Grey's Anatomy
CARLTON CUSE & DAMON LINDELOF -- Lost
ALAN BALL -- Six Feet Under
TERENCE WINTER -- The Sopranos
[Our pick: CARLTON CUSE & DAMON LINDELOF -- Lost]

WRITING FOR A COMEDY SERIES:
MITCHELL HURWITZ & RICHARD DAY & JIM VALLELY & CHUCK TATHAM -- Arrested Developmet
DOUG ELLIN -- Entourage
RICKY GERVAIS & STEPHEN MERCHAND -- Extras
GREG GARCIA -- My Name Is Earl
MICHAEL SCHUR -- The Office
[Our pick: MITCHELL HURWITZ & CO -- Arrested Development]


I'd be interested to hear your take and picks on these nominations.

Just for Chuckles: Kitty Staches and Cats in Sinks

Prepare yourself for some cuteness overload, as I came across these brilliant websites about kitties. Visit www.catsinsinks.com for photos of, wait for it, cats in sinks. You can't but love cats in all their strangeness and fascination about all things sink.

Check out also this hilarious site about 'Kitlers', aka cats that look like Hitler, for some funny kitty stach photos.

Huff Huff and Sniff Sniff

Sad news for couch potatoes everywhere; Showtime has decided to not continue their critically acclaimed drama Huff after it's just finished second season. This is truly upsetting as Huff was arguably the best but so unjustifiebly underrated show. It's a shame it never managed to garner a bigger audience, which it so deserved.

Allegedly the execs at Showtime were hoping the ratings would jump after the Emmy winning performances last year, but sadly this did not occur --even though Showtime has a policy not to publicly disclose their ratings numbers, we can still propably safely come to the conclusion that the ratings were the reason for Huff's downfall.

At least the small number of viewers who watched and loved the show for it's excellent acting and storylines, will have two great seasons to "huff" over. Let's hope they will be releasing the second season on DVD asap.

The Banana Stand is Moving

The BS is currently in the process of searching for a better home, and will return BIGGER, BETTER and JUICIER than ever before. I'm sick of the constant technical issues I'm having with Blogger, so I can only promise random updates before the moving date arrives. I have big creative plans for the BS, and hope to make them happen in the future.

UPDATE: Sorry to have kept you waiting, I've been so busy with other projects, that the moving day has been delayed. I've now started working on the new and improved BS site, and can't wait to get it up and running asap. I'll be keeping you posted in the meanwhile.

Well Hello! Tricky Grey Area

I'm loving all the media controversy and dispute over the 'wrongly' published picture of the baby Messiah, aka Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. As reported, the US rights to said images were bought by People magazine - for a whopping 4,1 million- which is owned by Time.Inc., as is Hello! magazine, which scored the UK rights to the pictures. Only it seems that Hello! had a little snafu and posted the cover with the picture on their website, from where it was immediately copied and posted all over the internet - I'm sure there are about nine people who haven't seen the pic of the bambino by now.

Naturally, this is where the suits come in, and the fun starts.
Gawker was one of the blogs that posted the image, and one of the few who still have it up, despite of the lawsuit threats. To read their account of "The battle of Shiloh" and the published legal notices from "Sir Jollypants" visit Gawker.com.

Personally I think Hello! should be happy about all the press coverage, which frankly, it hasn't received since the whole Zeta-Jones-Douglas wedding picture saga.

Is it wrong that I find all this copyright law-talk kinda sexy?

Lost: My Season Three Wishlist

I WANT TO SEE MORE OF:

1) NotHenry and the other Others/Hostiles - who are they, why are they on the island, and what is their agenda?

2) Danielle - give her a flashback to show what happened to her crew, and have her kick some ass, preferably with Sayid.

3) Alex - a strong, interesting new female character

4) Libby/Elizabeth - she was killed off just when her story got interesting, let her appear in more flashbacks and explain her story. Was she an Other? Why does she have a different wig on in every flashback?

5) Walt - tell us why the Others kidnapped him, and what they did to him. He deserves an episode and the viewers deserve an answer.

6) Desmond - at least give him another flashback --even if you kill him off, which I hope you don't.

7) Christian (Jack's dad) - either reveal what he has to do with the island/Dharma, or be done with him. Also, what happened to his body?

8) Jin - I hope the writers had more than 'silent fishing Korean' in mind when they created his character.

9) Sun, Claire, Charlie - either utilize them more or be done with them - we don't need to have characters on the show who have no purpose other than sitting around on the beach.

10) Sayid - Make him the new leader for the Losties.

11) Lostzilla - Where did it disappear? Don't introduce mystical elements/storylines if you are going to just forget them.

12) Island exploring - More action and characters interacting with each other -- characters other than Kate, Jack or Sawyer.

13) Shorter/More interesting flashbacks - I don't need another 'Jack in the ER' flashback, give us something that will move the story along.

Go Bananas! Introducing UK Big Brother

This is the seventh Big Brother series in Britain, and every year they seem to pick more and more wackier, and attention seeking people into the house. There haven't been 'normal' people in there since, like series three. It makes for a very addicting and entertaining TV, of course.

This year's housemates have been in the UK Big Brother house for only 10 days, and so far; one of them [Shahbaz] was allegedly put on suicide watch after threatening to kill himself - and was then, basically asked to leave the house; one [Dawn] was thrown out after breaking the house rules by receiving a bogus distress message from her sister, which included a coded message; and only one [Bonnie] has been voted out by the public last night in the first real eviction.

Well, what else can you expect when; one contestant has Tourette's Sydrome; one has, and I quote 'largest breast implants in the UK'; one claims to have entered the house 'to find a rich and famous man'; one thinks his body is 'the closest example of perfection in humans'.

Here are the contestant profiles--all 14 of them--from the official Big Brother website:

GLYN
AGE: 18
HOME: Blaenau Ffestiniog, North Wales
JOB: Part-time lifeguard / Head Boy in Sixth Form
HE SAYS: I want to do BB to get nationwide attention and show off my sexy body to millions.

"Claiming to have a body that's "the closest example to perfection", he's also a complex character who all the girls love. He says he does a poo after every meal and reckons he's no Dr Doolittle, claiming to hate all animals - and he reckons that they hate him too."

DAWN
AGE: 38
HOME: Birmingham
JOB: Exercise Scientist
FAVOURITE FILM: Horror
FAVOURITE BOOK: No novels, just textbooks
FAVOURITE FOOD: Strict vegetarian
SHE SAYS: I point out people's mistakes, which I am always right about as I never lose an argument.

"A determined and serious lady, Dawn is a strict vegetarian who loves her own company. She takes pleasure in reading textbooks, and spends a lot of time finding fault with things. Dawn was ejected from the Big Brother House on Day 8. This was because she broke a fundamental rule of Big Brother: making contact with the outside world."

LISA
AGE: 27
HOME: Manchester
JOB: Upholsterer
FAVOURITE FILM: Anything
SHE SAYS: I love slobbing around in my pyjamas with loads of food and beer, so much you could never eat it all.

"Lisa's a laddish lady who describes herself as "wild, crazy and sexy." A fluent Chinese speaker, she's quiet at home but full of energy on a night out. She says that if anyone crosses her, they'll definitely know about it."

SHAHBAZ
AGE: 37
HOME: Glasgow
JOB: Unemployed - for 21 years
FAVOURITE FILM: Grease (when he was a child)
HE SAYS: In the words of Oscar Wilde 'Know thyself' - I do and I sleep well at night for this knowledge.

"Shahbaz is a huge fan of Kylie Minogue and knitting. He has a great sense of humour but can't stand hypocrisy and double standards. A bit of a party animal, he can survive on as little as four hours of sleep a night. Shahbaz chose to walk out of the Big Brother House on Day 6."

NIKKI
AGE: 24
HOME: Middlesex
JOB: Model / dancer
STARSIGN: Aries
FAVOURITE BOOK: The Sport, The Sun and The Star
FAVOURITE FOOD: McDonald's and pizza
SHE SAYS: The three words I'd use to describe myself would be funny, ruthless and attractive.

"This wannabe footballer's wife enjoys nothing better than pampering herself and clubbing the night away. She survives on a diet of tabloid papers, burgers and pizza and has a straight-talking approach to dealing with people."

GEORGE
AGE: 19
HOME: London
JOB: Student
HE SAYS: My perfect day would be driving a fast car.

"Posh George is a self-confessed mummy's boy with royal connections. His life of privilege sees him spending most of his time around Chelsea, but he hopes to broaden his mind during his time in the House. He describes himself as stubborn, posh and comical."

LEA
AGE: 35
HOME: Nottingham
JOB: Model / Single mum
FAVOURITE FILM: Pretty Woman/Dirty Dancing/Snatch
FAVOURITE TV-SHOW: Emmerdale/Big Brother
SHE SAYS: I am an honest but nasty mid-life crisis bird with a body to die for and a temper too!

"Model Lea used to be 22 stone, and says she now has the largest breast implants in the UK. She admits to being grumpy in the morning until she's had a cup of tea!"

MIKEY
AGE: 22
HOME: Liverpool
JOB: Software Developer and Model
FAVOURITE FILM: Scary Movie, Taxi Driver
HE SAYS: My penis controls my brain!

"This obsessively tidy young man is a big fan of clubbing and girls. He's good for getting the party going, but has a terrible habit of telling people how to do things. His party piece is opening bottles with his teeth!"

IMOGEN
AGE: 23
HOME: London
JOB: Bar Hostess
SHE SAYS: I wouldn't want other housemates to know I'm a beauty queen!

"This sexy, edgy and confident hostess loves her job as she gets to meet amazing people and make great contacts. A real Welsh beauty, she has brains as well as looks but hates jokes because she doesn't really get them."

PETE
AGE: 24
HOME: Brighton
JOB: Unemployed/rock'n'roll singer/cartoonist
FAVOURITE FILM: Alien, Donnie Darko and Dumb and Dumber
FAVOURITE BOOK: Comics
FAVOURITE FOOD: Thai
HE SAYS: I love techno, Billy Idol, and Jim Carrey and hate drum & bass, rude people and big hairy spiders!

"Pete's a fun-loving guy. He likes reading, draws comics, fronts a rock band and suffers from Tourette's Syndrome. He has a pet hamster, Magic, who roams about his place and lives in the wall."

GRACE
AGE: 20
HOME: London
JOB: Dance teacher
SHE SAYS: I am pure grace.

"Grace has lived on her own for three years and loves it. She claims her life could only be improved if she could cook, had a garden and wasn't such a tidy freak. She says that her worst habit is that's she's a total name dropper when it comes to clothes."

SEZER
AGE: 26
HOME: London
JOB: Stockbroker / Property Developer
HE SAYS: The three words I would use to describe myself would be: made of platinum!

"Ladies' man Sezer loves horses, money, women and house music, but hates politics and Tony Blair. He likes his luxuries, and as a former boxer is very competitive."

BONNIE
AGE: 19
HOME: Loughborough
JOB: Care Worker
SHE SAYS: I deal with boredom by getting naked and terrorising it up!

"Bonnie's a real Mummy's girl who has no bad habits apart from putting her hands down her trousers a lot. She hates people snoring, creepy crawlies and heights, but she does like to blaze it up!" Bonnie was the first contestant to be evicted from the Big Brother house

RICHARD
AGE: 33
HOME: London
JOB: Waiter
STARSIGN: Leo
FAVOURITE FILM: 2046, Central Station and The Pacifier ("because it has Vin Diesel and babies")
FAVOURITE BOOK: The Lover by Margarite Duras
FAVOURITE FOOD: He doesn't 'do' processed food!
HE SAYS: I'm sexual, passionate and hostile.

"Richard loves freedom of speech, friends and big, big men. He hates dumbness, racism and processed food. He has a huge phobia of pregnant women and his idea of a perfect day would be to go to prison!"

I'll be keeping you posted, but in the meanwhile, you can watch Big Brother online on the official website.

Just for Chuckles: Clayken Impersonator

So Taylor was crowned the new American Idol with 63.4 million votes, but more importantly, check out this hilarious clip of Michael Sandecki, the Clay Aiken 'impersonator', meeting the real Clay on stage - even Ryan is frightened.

Is That You God?

I swear to God, my socks are staring right at me! Noooo! And now the marshmallows are attacking! Marshmallows are your friends... Quick, before they form an army!

Bluth Family Quote of the Day

"I decided to sleep in the car so my snoring wouldn't bother you [mother], and I left that recording of my snoring so you wouldn't know I'm gone."

[Buster Bluth]

Congratulations, Bitches!

By popular demand, I bring you the lyrics to Iceland's Eurovision Song Contest song, performed by Silvia Night. This really is the best shit. You can't make this up.

Congratulations

"Hey you, looking at me, I’m talking to you
I’m Silvia Night shining in the light –
I know you want me tooBorn in Reykjavik
in a different league – no damn eurotrashfreak
The vote is in, they say I win
To bad for all the others

So congratulations I have arrived
I’m Silvia Night and I’m shining so bright
Eurovision nation your dreams will come true
You’ve been waiting forever
For me to save you
Wham bam boom

My song’s totally cool no yesterday’s news
Really hot okay, really not too gay
I’m coming here to stay
Want a piece of me, listen carefully
You’ll be D.E.A.D.
So boys and girls around the world,
Let’s meet next year in Iceland

So congratulations I have arrived
I’m Silvia Night and I’m shining so bright
Eurovision nation your dream’s coming true
You’ve been waiting forever
For me to save you

(phone - conversation)
Hello is it god? What’s up dog?
It’s your favourite person in the world
Silvia Night I’m saving the world
See you...bye

So congratulations I have arrived
I’m Silvia Night and I’m shining so bright
Eurovision nation your dreams will come true
You’ve been waiting forever
For me to save you
Wham bam boom

So congratulations I have arrived
I’m Silvia Night and I’m shining so bright
Eurovision nation your dreams will come true
Vote for your hero that’s what you must do
I love you"

[She actually finishes the song with " I love you my European Children."]

Gay Undertones Galore!

Oh boy, I just finished watching The Eurovision Song Contest,
and this show is always so bad it just can't be missed. The whole contest is one big eurotrash gay-apalooza! The key is to be as drunk as possible and treat the viewing experience as a musical ripe for parody. Love it!

This year, the event is held in Athens, Greece, and first in line are the semifinals, which lead to the big finale on Saturday. So there are 23 performances today, but only 10 of them get to be in the finale, voted by the viewers at home, of course.

Here's a brief recap of of the conversation that went on while watching the semifinals:

BELARUS:
[Me:] "First of all, I've never even heard of this country. Does that make me a bad person?"
[Viewing Buddy:] "No, just a stupid one.".
[Me:] "Hmmm... sounds a lot like Russian pop music, you know, like TATU --aren't they the fake-lesbians, or as I like to call them; 'flesbians'?"

ALBANIA:
[Viewing Buddy:] "What do you think of this guy then?"
[Me:] "I don't know. Looks a bit too constipated/Fabio-like. Why am I seeing gay undertones everywhere today?"

ANDORRA:
First off, a voice-over informs us that the next singer has a life-long dream of having dinner with the corpse, also known as Marc Athony. Enough said.
[Me:] "This performance is just like Victoria's Secret-show on crack! By the way, I wish someone would be singing in French tonight."
[Viewing Buddy:] "Um... There is France..."
[Me:] "OMG, you are right! I didn't even think of that... Hey didn't Celine Dion perform once in the Eurovision Song Contest?

MONACO:
Just really bad gay dancers. In red skirts. At one point one of them collapses on the ground, and then tries to save what's left of his performance by doing an awful imitation of 'the robot'. It does not work in his favour.
[Me:] "Are they singing something about coconuts?"

POLAND:
[Me:] "LOL! This is a gay reincarnation of the...woman who has snakes in her head...What was she called again?"
[Viewing Buddy:] "Medusa?"

RUSSIA:
[Me:]"Another gay Mark Owen look-a-like. And look; ballerinas!"
After the performance a voice-over makes a point to tell us that one of the ballerinas had to stay away tonight because she was refused a visa to enter the country. I shed a tear.

UKRAINE:
A voice-over telling that the next singer was born outside, in a minus 50 degree (Celcius) weather.
[Me:] "Now that's what I'm talking about. Those kinds of facts are really the reason why I'm watching. Also, gays with tambourines!"

FINLAND:
[Me:] "Oh lord... Now it has wings..."
[Viewing Buddy:] "Hard rock hallelujah!"

THE NETHERLANDS:
[Me:] "Bongos! Girl power! Are they seriously singing 'There are words to find in a place to hide'?"
[Viewing Buddy:] "I think most of it's gibberish."
[Me:] "Well that one goes without saying."
After the song a voice-over informs us that the group has been performing in 37 countries before this - which is impressive, even if no one noticed.

LITHUANIA:
The group singing "We are the winners...of the Eurovision."
[Me:] "It's gays stuck in the 80's! This is definitely in the 'so bad it's good' category."
[Viewing Buddy:] "Nice to see some actual sarcasm on stage."
[Me:] "Oh was there? I didn't catch that..."

PORTUGAL:
[Me:] "This group is a total Abba rip-off! They are singing 'the dancing queen', right?"
Group singing "We're gonna make you dance. Make you with style."
[Viewing Buddy:] "They certainly seem to love their outfits..."
[Me:] "It's flesbians in glittery spandex-ready wear. I like the hats though"
[Viewing Buddy:] "This is one of my favourites."

SWEDEN:
[Viewing Buddy:] "Do you think she's had any botox?"
[Me:] "I haven't seen the face close up yet."
[Viewing Buddy:] "Yeah but just look at that forehead. It doesn't even move! Must be the pressure of having won before..."
[Me:] "She's won before? What, so they just send the same singer every year?"

ESTONIA:
[Me:] "Well that outfit certainly doesn't change the 'russian hooker' stereotype, now does it? What is that, a wrestling champion belt?"
[Viewing Buddy:] "I think it's a boxer's belt..."

BOSNIA-HERZEGOVINA:
[Me:] "Violins! Oh this is by far my favourite. It's gays in white!"
[Viewing Buddy:] "Yeah...I'm excited..."

ICELAND:
A voice-over is saying that the next singer has caused some controversy and bad blood between the other contestants by her constant bad attitude and behaviour, and that the song even has the treaded 'F'-word in it.
[Me:] "So naturally I'm interested now!"
[Viewing Buddy:] "Wow, they are booing her!"
[Me:] "How do they know to boo beforehand though?
[Viewing Buddy:] "Well...The audience does get the performance list beforehand..."
[Me:] "Oh, this is the best shit ever! It's like Paris Hilton on crack, or a man in drag!"
[Viewing Buddy:] "Did she just call God 'dog'?"

I should mention that between the performances we are treated to a footage gathered from a Eurovision slave's...volunteer's point of view. Truly fascinating stuff.

[Viewing Buddy:] "Hey do you wanna go and be a volunteer next year?"
[Me:] "Who could resist the yellow t-shirts?"
[Viewing Buddy:] "I'm serious!"
[Me:] "Would we get hazard pay?"

Ok, so after all the 23 performances, of what really felt and sounded like a one continuous song, they are asking people to vote for their favourites. While the voting is going on the presenters have to entertain --there are two of them-- the crowd. Apparently the other one is a singer and is asked to perform while the votes are being counted, and you can just see the audience being so enthusiastic about this, going 'yeah, bitch...whatever'.
It's sad.

[Me:] "I like the dress the presenter is wearing."
[Viewing Buddy:] "It's pretty."
[Me:] "I mean the woman."
[Viewing Buddy:] "Yeah, I got that."

The results are in and the 10 countries who win a place to the finale are: Russia, Ireland, Finland, Turkey, Ukraine, Sweden, Former Yugoslavia..., Bosnia-Herzegovina, Lithuania and Armenia.

[Me:] "How the hell do you suppose they count all the votes from different countries this fast?"
[Viewing Buddy:] "It's called technology."


You simply must watch the finale online on the official
Eurovision website this Saturday!

Bluth Family Quote of the Day

"I shall duck behind the couch."

[Wayne Jarvis, attorney in law]